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Blog: Helen Clark - Peak District Artist Accused of Art Artifice

Blog Posted on 24 Jun 2011

Well what happened with the fox cubs painting? Did my nutty neighbour from Buxton like it? Did I go mental from the stress of having to recreate something I really didn’t want to? Did I go to prison for something I didn’t do???????

Yes you did read that last bit correctly- I shall tell all my faithfull  Bloggers and Blogetts.  This tale gets better and better (Honestly what I have to put up with).

I was (un) happily painting away at my (un)lovely painting and trying to blend into the woodwork in my Gallery  – very hard when you’re painting  something that is ma- hass-ive,  when a very elderly gentleman wandered in from Tideswell, again shouting very loud just like my nutty neighbour who wanted the painting in the first place.   ( I do have to shout at lots of different people in my shop – mainly because they’re  foreign and obviously shouting makes them understand your English better)

“WHAT YOU DOIN’ MISSIS?” he bellowed, obviously deaf as post bless ‘im. 

Well you can image - Bog Dog went ballistic and I jumped out of my skin. The fox cub suddenly had a very “ironic” looking eyebrow, arched upwards into the fields beyond, as my paintbrush also jumped out of it’s skin and shot up the painting, smearing black everywhere.  I explained ....3 was a painting for a customer from a print I that I had made a long time ago – it was my painting originally and she wanted a copy but much larger.

”AAAAAAY ???” he kept shouting  - bless ‘im - again  (grrrrrrr).

I gave up, after the 5th time, trying to explain what I was doing.

He looked round the shop, ever so quiet then and I thought the worst was over. The Gallery at Rowsley started filling up with lots of lovely customers, all minding their own business and picking up bits and bobs to buy . All was calm, serene, peaceful.

And then the old chap cackled soooooooooooo loud -  I jumped about 3 ft high this time and so did all the other customers in the shop,

Well what do you do? He was quite clearly batty deaf but I was lost for words (yes – quite clearly I was VERY shocked, as you know me by now and normally I would have said LOTS of words )  I just grinned maniacally, I think I looked quite hysterical by then and most of my customers smiled politely at me and I think (hope) they could see I wasn’t an art criminal really – I didn’t have a balaclava on for a start, but you never know how you come across to the public.

It has a happy ending – my lovely Antipodean Nutty Neighbour absolutely loved it and if she’s happy then I’m happy,
“Hi Helen. Just received my fox cubs and they are just divine!!!!!! It looks amazing on my wall and the foxes have such beautiful eyes-they look like they are looking right at you with such intensity. Thankyou so much and I miss living next to you soooo much Sweetness  -Cheers Melissa.x “
Crazy lady

(I would just like to point out she knows I have quoted/described her in my blog last week and she loves being the centre of attention – she absolutely loved my forgery story and it’s all true -  so Melissa, you’re on again this week ma Aussie darlin’ ! We miss you too  xx

Other than that it’s been owlishly quiet at Rowsley, so I made myself useful.....

Next week I’ll see if I can stay out of trouble and not make myself look a twit –twoo

(sorry – TAXI!)

This blog was brought to you by Helen Clark.

Type Of Art: Painting
Location: The Caudwells Mill, Rowsley
Contact Number: 01629 732 638

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