I’ve got my Mojo back!
You didn’t know I’d lost it did you? No, because I hid it well that’s why, but I had definitely lost it. Mojo well and truly........ Lost. I put an ad in the paper saying as much.
“Helen Clark has lost her Mojo - have you seen it? Reward offered”.
I’ve been looking for it for weeks. Under the sofa, in the bread bin, down the back of the settee? Nope- not there – I DID find the potato peeler in the fridge, but that’s by the by.
I have been in secret despair, with commissioned work piling up and up and up – breathe Helen, get your paper bag- I’ve been doing anything and everything other than painting.
I just couldn’t paint anything decent.
In fact I just couldn’t paint.
I’d tried and tried but it all ended up being painted back over. I would love to say something dramatic like I screwed it up in fury and hurled it like a thunderbolt into the bin but have you tried screwing up a canvas on stretcher bars?? All you can do is daub paint back over what you’ve already painted and even that adds to your despair. It’s such a lack lustre thing to do. Perhaps next time I should punch through the back of the canvas and create a huge hole. Yes I think I will. Much more satisfying
It‘s an absolutely terrifying feeling – suddenly panicking I can’t paint any more. What if it’s gone for good? What shall I do now? My poor Hubster (he hasn’t read last week’s blog yet, so doesn’t know he’s now called that. I’ve got another week of talking about him......mmmm, better not. He’s had to put up with a LOT lately) he’s coped admirably with all my mood swings, my tantrums, my tempers, my tears – and that was ‘cos I couldn’t buy the pair of shoes I’d seen on special offer. You ought to have seen me with the hyperventilating panic attacks about not being able to paint anymore. No siree – I wouldn’t be married to ME, for all the tea in China.
I’d hate to be a writer (a proper writer, as a proper job, not just rambling on and on like me). Artist’s blockage (surely you can buy something for that at the chemist?) must be the same sort of feeling as Writer’s block, but at least I could dab on a few squibbles and call it Art. You can’t fake writing - ever. It’s a shame people fake art, but they do, and they get paid a million times more squiddlies than I will ever get paid , but I don’t care about them. I feel sorry for them to be honest. I paint what I am passionate about.
I love my job – money or not (although they really were gorgeous shoes)
I win. Everytime.
All I needed to do was make myself switch off, sit down with a pastel pencil, go back to basics and draw. Draw like your heart will stop if you don’t. Draw what you love best to draw in all the world (for me this is cats - big or small) Draw what you see. Draw what you think, no - DON’T think, DON’T think about anything – nothing – JUST DRAW , take deep breaths ........
...........and the next thing I know it’s time to lock up the Gallery and go home.
I have been drawing and painting like a demon all week and I feel mighty fabulous.
My Mojo is back- with vengeance. Phew. Hysterics over with......until the next time. My Hubster said it would be ....I really HATE it when he’s right, but this time, I don’t mind him being right, one little bit.
Now enough Blogging as I have to finish my lovely Rosie cat – she’s not my actual cat but I always consider the pets I am painting mine, until I hand the painting over to their owners – the paintings of them, not the real animals. You would have to rename me Noah if I kept them all. She still has a little tweaking but she’s nearly done.
One last note, just to warn you.
The. Swamp. Monster. Is. Back.
No come back, don’t scream, don’t push each other out of the way. It’s all going to be ok promise.
This time it’s NOT The Swamp Monster of Stanton Moor .... yes it’s fine don’t worry.........it’s not her again...............it’s only the Swamp Monster of Bakewell , via Pilsley, via Edensor, via Chatsworth and back through Beeley to Bakewell again. She found them all- all the bogs on the way, and alllllll the bogs on the way back again.
“The Blogging Bog Dog – The Revenge – Part 2 and a half – Part 3, no doubt to be shown in Blogs on Peak District Online sometime, surely (don’t call me Shirley)
IS BOGGING BACK
Blog brought to you by Helen Clark, The Gallery, Rowsley
Smell brought to you by Helen’s dog, Jasmine, A.K.A : The Blogging Bog Dog